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After several months of partisan bickering, a government shutdown, and multiple unsuccessful attempts by Republicans and Democrats to compromise immigration enforcement, President Donald Trump announced Friday that he would declare a national emergency and redirect $8 billion in government funds to erect barriers along the southern border.
The President made the announcement just after 10am E.T. from the steps of the White House, prompting liberals nationwide to immediately soil their pants.
Cleanup efforts are underway at this hour. The national guard has urged Americans to remain calm and wear rubber boots and waders when venturing outside until further notice.
Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY), has urged congressional democrats to “work with some really smart people from like NASA or something and find a way to use our stinky to make cars go.”
Ocasio-Cortez indicated that since her own personal bodily waste does not smell, she is therefore “prolly like” the most credible person to address the “Great Liberal Stinky of 2019.”
“We can turn this into a shining moment for America and create a better future for our world, Ocasio-Cortez added. “We just have to be ambitious and invent technology that doesn’t exist.”
Indianapolis Mayor Joe Hogsett was unshaken by the mass evacuation of liberal bowels in his city, and questioned the Federal Government’s decision to issue an EAS warning in response to the crisis.
“Multiple incidents of public defecation? Sounds like a regular Friday in the city of Indianapolis to me,” said Mayor Hogsett.
Meanwhile, WIBC host The Chicks on the Right cheered the President’s decision to declare a national emergency. Click the link below to hear their full response:
