Listen Live

(ClaudioVentrella/Getty Images)

Attention all persons with an IQ above that of a garden slug: DO NOT CALL 911 for non-emergencies. 911 is for life-threatening emergencies only.

For example: It is perfectly appropriate to dial the friendly people of 911 if you find yourself being repeatedly stabbed in the face by an ex-lover. It is NOT appropriate to call 911 because you received a lousy sandwich at your local gyro shop.

Still confused? The Hammer and Nigel show is here to assist and provide clarity.

The following example is an incident that does NOT constitute an emergency:

A woman from Cleveland, Ohio called 911 on March 19 to report that the restaurant Gyro Guys had intentionally served her a “nasty” chicken gyro with raw meat. We have included a link to the actual call and additional helpful tips from Hammer and Nigel below.

Please note: All audio is strictly provided for educational purposes and NOT for the purpose of delighting in this woman’s sheer stupidity.