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The wife is out of town, the guys are free, and you just got paid. “I know!” thinks you. “I’ll call the fellas up and see who wants to eat the roast beef special at ‘Meaty Babes with Lucious Rumps’ Gentlemen’s Club!”

Good plan there, Skippy – at least until two weeks from now when you’re hunched over an examination table, pants around your ankles, taking an injection in your ass.

The lesson? Always eat BEFORE you get to the strip club.

We now take you to the state of Florida, where a food worker at a Pasco County strip club managed to inadvertently garnish patrons’ dinners with Hepatitis A.

The county Department of Health confirmed the happy news that the worker contracted the disease and – because ‘sharing is caring’ – passed that disease on to satisfied customers at ICON Gentlemen’s Club in Hudson.

Those who are unsure if they might have contracted Hepatitis A are urged to consult this helpful questionnaire for assistance in self-diagnosis, which is always your best bet when you suspect you might be suffering from an infectious disease, and much cheaper than asking some high-falutin ‘medical professional’ who will probably try to cure you with witchcraft magic.

The Helpful ‘Hepatitis A’ Self Diagnosis Guide:

  1. Are you experiencing symptoms of fatigue, nausea, abdominal pain, loss of appetite, and low-grade fever?
  2. Did you dine at the ICON Gentlemen’s Club in Hudson?

If you answered ‘yes’ to both of the above questions, you’ve likely contracted Hepatitis A and should seek medical treatment immediately – even if that means going to a witch doctor. Otherwise, you’re a dead man. But hey, best wishes to ya!

PLEASE NOTE: ICON Gentlemen’s Club management is offering free Hepatitis A vaccines to the first 100 customers who leave a positive review on Yelp. Supplies limited.

Hey, remember that strip club scene from Beverly Hills Cop:

That was awesome.

By the way, Hammer and Nigel talked about the Hepatitis A outbreak at ICON Gentlemen’s Club and shared their own experiences with the fine cuisine available at Indy’s best strip clubs in today’s edition of “Is This Anything?” Click below to check it out.