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(Photo: Getty/David McNnew)

 

The infamous IndyGo Red Line is mere weeks away from officially opening up for lackluster business!

Yes, how exciting indeed. Beginning this Labor Day weekend, your frustratingly awful commute to a job you hate with a passion will become even more painful and oppressive than you could possibly imagine!

Tempers will flare! Dashboards will be smashed with fists!  Angry diatribes yelled at total strangers will be delivered with ever-increasing frequency from within the privacy of your gridlocked sedan. You might not ‘Go Red,’ but your face will sure as hell turn that color on a regular basis!

But hey, in the end, Indianapolis residents can find solace and satisfaction in their knowledge of the following: the six or seven people who will attempt to commute daily on these magic, eco-friendly buses – identical to the dust-covered POS contraptions in Albuquerque that never run – GREATLY appreciate your sacrifice… in NO WAY WHATSOEVER. 

But hey, at least we’re saving the environment! You know, by reducing traffic lanes for commuter cars, which in turn means more traffic jams, which in turn means more cars idling in traffic, which in turn means more CO2 from exhaust being spewed into the atmosphere! 

Look, the damn Red Line is coming whether we like it or not… and the Blue Line… and the Purple Line. Fight it and complain all you like, but there are a few things you MUST know about how to safely – and legally – share the road with these 13 new hybrid-electric buses that will be in your way and pi**ing you off in just a few short weeks.

With that in mind, WISH-TV’s own Jenny Dreasler recently aired a report about “What IndyGo wants drivers to know about the Red Line.

Dreasler called into the Hammer and Nigel show Wednesday to expand on the above report and offer additional tips for Indy commuters to stay safe, ticket-free, and calm once the nightmare Red Line becomes a reality… God be with us.

Click below to hear Jenny Dreasler’s top 3 things to know about the new Red Line amid her hilarious conversation with Hammer and Nigel. Click on it immediately!