(Win McNamee/Getty Images)
Two McMorons in Florida are going from Big Macs to a steady diet of government cheese after pulling a couple of McPistols on a McDonald’s drive-thru worker because their hamburgers were cold.
According to McCops and a surprisingly extensive arrest report, fast-food connoisseurs Jawan Davis and Jordon Dunn were mightily McPissed after a McDonald’s worker brought out a bag of deep-fried goodness that was not warm enough for their liking.
The McMorons then told the McWorker that they wanted their food – which included five burgers – remade McProperly. Unfortunately, they emphasized their disappointment at not receiving a five-star experience by brandishing McPistols in the employee’s face.
According to police, one of the men explained that, “I don’t play about my food.”
For those who are unfamiliar with the linguistic art of street jive, “I don’t play about my food” roughly translates to, “Pardon me, fine sir. My meal is not to my satisfaction and I would like for you to kindly prepare a fresh round of burgers.”
The McWorker then agreed to provide the clearly intelligent Davis and Dunn with fresh food; however, he then broke his word and called 911 while the pair sat in their Ford Fusion. McLIAR!
McCops arrived and arrested Davis and Dunn (isn’t that a country group?). The McPerps acknowledged they were upset about the cold food, but claimed they were only joking around when they displayed their McPistols to the McDonald’s worker.
Yes, nothing says “harmless fun” like pointing a deadly weapon in a stranger’s face. Good times!
A search of the car turned up a stolen handgun, a BB gun, and some marijuana for which Dunn claimed ownership. “McMine!”
Wait, a stolen handgun? Golly, good thing we’re moving toward expanded background checks to prevent that sort of thing. #McIdiots.
McDumbass Dunn told McCops, “I ain’t no bad person” as he was being placed in the rear of a police cruiser.
Yes, a real McPillar of the community is Dunn.
McDavis and McDunn were arrested for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and other assorted felony and misdemeanor charges, booked into the county jail, and face the risk of being McSod****** as they await trial.
Hammer and Nigel have this story and more in today’s edition of “Is This Anything?”