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Senator Bernie Sanders is huge champion for Americans who desire to destroy the country. For example, under a theoretical Sanders Presidency (holy nightmares from hell), laws, government policies and economic reality will be cast aside in favor of more feel-good, non-judgmental, accountability-free legislation of the land. You know, the kind of policy that was embraced by Venezuela, praised by Bernie Sanders, and ultimately led to the widespread consumption of family pets for nourishment! Good times had by all!

Pardon me. I don’t want to unfairly criticize the Sanders philosophy of collective death and destruction of the Republic. I don’t want to achoo a proposed system of government that has proven itself a failure MULTIPLE times throughout history without examining big Bern’s plan in detail. I don’t want to be resistant to destroying America without first hearing Bernard out.

Let’s get specific about Bernie Sanders’ horrific policies, yes?  After all, Bernie Sanders shamelessly revealed his plans to kill us all during a campaign stop in Las Vegas last week.

Here’s a little overview on the policies and government intervention required to implement Bernie Sanders’ vision for a “new and improved” United States of America:

National Rent Control: Tackle affordable housing through a $2.5 trillion national rent control initiative and major investment for building new homes and updating public housing.

“I don’t have to tell anyone here today that we have an affordable housing crisis in Nevada, Vermont and all over this country that must be addressed,” Sanders told about 100 people at Plumbers, Pipefitters and Service Technicians Local 525. “This is a national emergency.”

Question: Housing is a national emergency, but illegal immigration is not? Because it kinda, sorta seems like a flood of new people entering the United States who require housing would increase demand on existing housing, thus exacerbating the issue.

Oh, but if we tell private investors what they can charge residents for their housing, that will control the issue! 

Wait… If private real-estate investors can’t make money by investing in real estate, won’t that discourage developers from building new housing? Won’t that dramatically increase demand on a housing market that is already oversaturated with existing demand? 

Conclusion: Bernie Sanders is a dumb ass.

Sorry. I meant to be open-minded.

No Deportations. Free Healthcare for All, Including Illegal Immigrants: Sanders affirmed in Las Vegas that millions of undocumented immigrants would gain health care coverage under Bernie Sanders’ plan for a single-payer health care system.

Question: Won’t that substantially increase the demands on the existing healthcare system, resulting in rationing of healthcare and treatment? Won’t it also result in long waiting lists for crucially important procedures and treatments? Won’t those delays and rationing for healthcare result in more people dying under this superior system of healthcare? Granted, at least they’ll die debt-free. 

Hey, wait! Won’t giving away free stuff to illegals further incentivize immigrants to come to the country illegally? And since Bernard Sanders plans to eliminate the practice of deportations, won’t that spike in immigration further increase demand for affordable housing?

Conclusion: Bernie Sanders is a dumb ass.

Sorry. There’s that judgment again. My bad.

Free College, Eliminate All Student Loan Debt: Socialist Sanders would make two- and four-year public and tribal colleges and universities tuition-free and debt-free, and erase the roughly $1.6 trillion in student loan debt currently owed in the U.S., paid for by a tax on Wall Street.

Question: What about folks who already paid off their students loans? Oh, too bad for them? They’re screwed? Alright, good enough.

Hey, wait! Didn’t the cost of a college education go through the roof after the government decided to guarantee students loans that couldn’t be wiped out in bankruptcy to ANYONE who desired them? Didn’t that government intervention in the free market cause the problem to begin with? So isn’t asking the free market to pay for the misguided stupidity of government’s decision to screw with the free-market economy a little unfair? A little punitive? A little Socialist? 

Ooh! And won’t a lack of accountability and an absence of free-market economics in the educational system result in the cost of a college education continuing to go through the roof? 

Conclusion: Bernie Sanders is a dumb ass.

Whoops! My apologies (again). I mean to say “Bernie Sanders is an incredibly dangerous dumb ass who will destroy American capitalism, send our economy into a freefall, and turn the U.S. into Venezuela.”

On the positive side, at least animal shelters will find homes for all those stray and unwanted pets. People gotta eat, right?

The Chicks on the Right have more in the clip below.