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Attention potheads, cannabis connoisseurs, and those who delight in the delectable benefits of medical marijuana: Marion County will no longer prosecute your ass for possession of “herb” in cases involving skanky weed quantities of less than one ounce.

Conclusion: Light up and enjoy responsibly!

Ah, but let us probe deeper, yes? 

A little background information for educational purposes:

Acting Marion County Prosecutor Ryan Mears announced the new policy Monday, saying his office will place focus on prosecuting violent crimes rather than lovers of getting “baked.” (Paraphrased, of course).

Why the one-ounce limit? According to Mears, that level distinguishes between users and dealers, whom the office will continue to prosecute with delight.

Mears says the office has dismissed about 80 percent of marijuana possession charges so far this year, reflecting the area’s increasing acceptance of cannabis as a recreational substance that, like alcohol, can be enjoyed responsibly by users when consumed in moderation.

Please note: This does not imply that you can get baked and operate a car or heavy machinery without fear of prosecution. Normal rules about driving under the influence and public intoxication still apply.

Don’t smoke in public. Don’t grow your own stuff. Don’t smoke pot if you’re under 18.

And just a reminder for those who are reading this blog post while stoned on grass, don’t smoke in public. Also, DON’T SMOKE IN PUBLIC, you degenerate pothead! 

Best Practices for Getting High on Less than an Ounce of Marijuana: Light up in your closet with a bag of chips and other munchable yummies at your side. Remain seated and listen to back-to-back broadcasts of the Hammer and Nigel show. Shower occasionally.

Statehouse Bureau Chief Eric Berman of the award-winning news and political commentary enterprise, WIBC joined the Hammer and Nigel show Monday afternoon with details on Acting Marion County Prosecutor Ryan Mears’ new policy.

Click below to savor and enjoy.