(Zach Gibson/Getty Images)
Breaking News: The virulent anti-Semitic congresswomen known as ‘the Squad’ are backing a Socialist Jew for President.
Representatives Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib say Grandpa Bernie Sanders, a 78-year-old millionaire Socialist with a heart that could give out at any moment, is the official choice of dangerously-ignorant, anti-American millennial voters. Yep! It turns out that the young, hip voters of today want nothing more than to see an old man who smells of flatulence and combs his hair with a balloon as their President.
The Squadlings, who together have a combined I.Q. somewhere in the range of the recommended tire pressure for a Good-Year radial, couldn’t be more excited about their pick. They’re SO enthusiastic, in fact, that they wrote him the ‘perfect cheer!’:
He’s our man!
If he can’t do it,
No one… Line?”
Sanders, who less than a week ago was using a bedpan and walking around in a hospital gown that opens in the back, hinted at one of the Squadlings’ endorsement during CNN’s Democratic debate in Ohio Tuesday night.
“Let me invite you all to a major rally we’re having in Queens, New York,” the Vermont lawmaker who is determined to destroy Capitalism and send the American economy back to the stone age said. “We’re going to have a special guest at that event. And we are going to be mounting a vigorous campaign all over this country.”
Rep. Porridge Brains was later confirmed by media outlets as that special guest.
Shortly after, another Squadling, Ilhan Omar of Minnesota, announced her endorsement and Rashida Tlaib of Michigan was said to be set to announce her endorsement as well.
Fun Fact: Omar and Tlaib both endorse the boycott Israel movement.