(Bruce Gilkas/Getty Images)
“Let me go! Let me go! Don’t put it there anymore!”
Beloved childhood icon and animated snowman “Olaf” of the “Frozen” franchise is in a Florida hospital recovering from injuries sustained during a violent sexual assault in a Target megastore.
According to an arrest affidavit obtained by thesmokinggun.com, suspect Cody Meader, 20, allegedly placed the popular snowman on the floor and “dry hump[ing]” it “until he ejaculated,” at the Pinellas Park store last Tuesday.
Meader then continued his sexual rampage, retrieving a magical unicorn from a display and nearly humping the stuffing out of it.
Both animals survived the attack but will have to be euthanized. Sadly, Mr. Meader will not.
Good luck in prison, Cody Meader!
Convict: “What did you do to get locked up in here?”
Meader: “I f****d a unicorn and nutted on ‘Olaf.’”
Hammer and Nigel will have more on this important American story of crime and justice during today’s edition of “Is This Anything?”