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ISIS Leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi is DEAD, kids! Yes, the world’s #1 coward and turned himself into hamburger meat Sunday, as he attempted to flee from Navy Seals and a trained canine who was tracking the scent of al-Baghdadi’s skidmark-stained underpants.

The jubilant and blessed cause for celebration was announced by President Trump in a Sunday morning press conference. Trump noted that Navy Seals visually identified al-Baghdadi before he ran “crying” through a dead-end tunnel where he was found “whimpering” and wetting himself prior to detonating a suicide vest. 

The President noted that “there wasn’t much left” of al-Baghdadi’s mutilated remains, but there were “still substantial pieces that they brought back,” so keep your eyes on Craigslist and eBay for memorabilia.

Fox News National Correspondent Jennifer Griffin reported Monday that Al-Baghdadi’s head remained intact following the blast, allowing the use of biometrics to identify his face, which probably looked like this:

al-baghdadi death photo

While most clinically-sane Americans were simply delighted by the President’s announcement, “Halloween” star Jamie Lee Curtis expressed shock and disgust at Trump’s words.

“He may have died a coward @realDonaldTrump but ALL living things suffer when they are blown up,” the star of the direct-to-video “Molly & Roni’s Dance Party” wrote in a now-deleted tweet. “Anyone who has experienced warfare, unlike yourself, would know that. War is brutal. Dogs are brave, bold, loyal, loving and healing.”

Curtis is intimately familiar with the horrors of warfare from her extensive combat experience in 1978, when she courageously pretended to battle a fictional character named “Michael Myers” on a Hollywood movie set – a LOW BUDGET, INDEPENDENT movie set mind you, so it was no picnic!

Ms. Curtis wasn’t the only TDS sufferer to publicly flaunt her pro-Islamic terrorism sentiments. The Washington Post, a pre-November 2016 bastion of journalistic integrity, caught flack for referring to Al-Baghdadi as an “austere religious scholar” in an obituary headline.

Washington Post Calls ISIS leader al-Baghdadi ‘religious scholar’

Meanwhile, Democrat and depender on “Depends” Nancy Pelosi attacked President Trump for making the decision to conduct the al-Baghdadi raid without giving Democrats advance notice. While unconfirmed, it is assumed the President was concerned that Congress would have delayed the operation to ensure all genders and sexual orientations were properly represented in the raid.

Click the link below to hear Hammer and Nigel’s take on al-Baghdadi going KaBlewey!