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Have you ever heard the saying, “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas?” Well get this: It turns out that when someone says “What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas,” what they mean is that you can have sex with a prostitute while you’re there, and as long as you pay the fee and don’t upset her pimp, no one back home will know. That is unless you contract a raging case of herpes, in which case, whatever winnings you snagged by gambling will now be used to pay a divorce attorney.

The thing is, Las Vegas is less and less about hookers, booze, and the mafia these days. In fact, modern-day “Sin City” is about as sinful as sampling a grape in the fresh food aisle at Kroger (or stealing $950.00 worth of merchandise in California).

Today’s Vegas is all about over-produced rock concerts, Keto-friendly buffets, and family entertainment! Step aside La Cosa Nostra, here comes the Disney corporation! And since Mickey Mouse isn’t exactly known for frequenting whore houses and doing lines off strippers’ derrieres, “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas” is outdated and offensive – especially to culturally woke millennials with gender-fluid kids. 

Solution: a NEW slogan that doesn’t conjure up images of your spouse playing flesh roulette with a lady of the night. And indeed, Las Vegas is rumored to be considering a new marketing campaign with the slogan, “What Happens Here, ONLY Happens Here.”

But what about old-timers like Jason Hammer, who frequents Vegas on a bi-annual basis just to sit through endless time-share presentations to snag discount tickets to Wayne Newton? Find out in today’s edition of “Are You Okay with This?” with Hammer and Nigel.