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Picture if you will, a man enjoying his daily constitution in the family bathroom. The Wall Street Journal is gently draped across his lap. His pants are at his ankles. The Amazon Echo that sits on his wife’s vanity plays a pleasant selection of jazz favorites. All is well and right in the world...
“Ahh!” the man thinks to himself. “Bathroom breaks have never been so comfortable and smoothly executed since the wife began adding a teaspoon of ground flaxseed to my daily fruit smoothie. Thanks, babe.”
The man reaches for his environmentally-conscious daily allotment of sanitary paper. He casually glances at the roll, and that’s when panic sets in!
“Uh-oh,” the man mutters to himself. “Looks like the toilet paper roll is on ‘E’ again.”
The man now has a total of four options in front of him – none of them enticing:
A. Use hand. Wash vigorously in hot, soapy water.
B. Use shower curtain, remove from the rod, wash vigorously in hot, soapy water.
C. Remove socks, use the “mitten method” for cleanup, wash socks vigorously in hot, soapy water.
D. Do the pantless bear crawl to the linen closet and fetch a replacement roll.
Not such a pleasant start to your day after all, is it? And somehow you suspect that “Alexa” is going to rat you out the next time you have guests over for dinner.
House Guest: “Alexa, tell us a joke.”
Alexa: “No thanks. Why don’t I tell you about the time Nigel wiped his ass with the handtowel in the guest bathroom you just used?”
What if there was a better way? What if you could have another roll of toilet paper delivered at the push of a button?
Introducing the latest in Artificial Intelligence Sanitary Paper Delivery Technology: The all-new Charmin RollBot!
On display in Las Vegas at CES 2020, the Charmin RollBot connects to your smartphone via Bluetooth and can be summoned with the tap of a button. It makes use of a balancing mechanism that allows it to stay upright and on the move, even if loaded down with one of Charmin’s Forever Rolls.
Never run out of T.P. again… Unless, of course, you forgot to put a new roll on the bot the last time he made a delivery to you via commode express services. You’ll also need to remember to leave the door open while you’re taking a crap and be sure to keep fresh batteries in your RollBot (unless you opt for the gas-powered model with pull-start).
Of course, no one wants to enter a bathroom that’s just been corrupted with noxious and potentially fatal odors! You can’t afford to take that kind of risk as the sole provider for your family.
Solution: The SmellSense Sensor!
The SmellSense sensor is calibrated to pick up on carbon dioxide from rectal emissions and displays a “Go” or “No Go” status on the sensor. By utilizing this technology in your home, you can find out whether a bathroom is safe for occupancy prior to exposing yourself to the kind of odors that end marriages and rip families apart.
WIBC’s Hammer and Nigel have more information on this breakthrough technology in today’s edition of “Are You Okay With This?”
