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(Screen Capture: New York Post)

The season opener for the 2020 Walmart Smackdown series took place last night in Minnesota, drawing record crowds for the increasingly common event in which a group of customers engages in punching, stomping, hair-pulling, expletive screaming, and repetitive uttering of the phrase, “Aw, Da-a-amn!”

Promoters for the event said damage to merchandise displays and consumer goods far surpassed corporate expectations – especially coming off an unusually violent holiday season at major retail establishments across the country.

Bottom line: America can’t get enough of watching persons of a lower socioeconomic class beat the living s*** out of each other.

Several aspiring cinematographers with an artistic passion for capturing felony assault on their mobile phones were in attendance. The New York Post uploaded a rough cut of the event, but noted that final edits, sound sweetening, and special effects from Lucas Films have yet to be incorporated into the footage.

It’s unclear at this time what prompted the fight, but authorities have denied speculation that the brawl erupted in response to a shortage of Baby Yoda cereal.

Video reveals customers slamming each other into the concrete floor. At one point, a young man is seen violently stomping on an iPhone; however, it was later determined that the phone, in fact, belonged to him. Apparently, the unnamed phone-stomper in question had just downloaded and installed the latest firmware update from Apple. 

While this latest example of retail violence was off-putting for some, a spokesperson for Walmart noted in a statement that you’re highly unlikely to get beaten, shot, stabbed, or killed while shopping at one of their many convenient locations across the globe. Just try not to make eye contact with other shoppers in the aisles and you’ll be fine.

WIBC’s Hammer and Nigel used the opportunity today to take a walk down memory lane and revisit the infamous Beech Grove Walmart fight from a few years ago.

Click below for additional helpful commentary and insight from Hammer and Nigel.