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Little Socialist fuzzball Bernie Sanders has himself a problem, and it’s a biggie. It’s not as big as his bank account, but it’s still a biggie.

See, Bernie Sanders is regrettably a Senator, and as such, he has himself a big boy with big pants duty to be present when his fellow Senators vote on whether or not to convict President Trump on those ridiculously flimsy articles of impeachment that Nancy Pelosi refuses to send over the Senate. 

Yes, but Bernie Sanders is much more than a Senator who combs his hair with a balloon and marinates daily in the pleasing aroma of his own flatulence; he’s also one of the many Democrats currently running for President with no chance to win. Sadly, Bernie hasn’t come to that conclusion yet for himself. Thus, he continues to waste campaign dollars by traveling around the country making promises to pro-socialist lemmings that he could NEVER deliver. What a guy.

At any rate, there’s only one Bernie Sanders (praise Jesus), and Big Bern can’t be in Washington D.C. AND on the campaign trail at the same time. What’s a multi-millionaire socialist with three homes to do? Travel back and forth daily from D.C. to various campaign stops via private jet!

Bern loves private jets. He can take his pants off, break wind at will, and most importantly, NO BABIES! We all know how much Bernie hates babies.

Unfortunately for Bern, traveling around the country by private jet is just the kind of thing that his carbon-neutral nitwit supporters would frown upon. They’re down with the three homes and “let’s turn ourselves into Venezuela” rhetoric, but you can’t start zipping around the country on your own private Lear jet.

So, does Bernie stay in D.C. to vote in an impeachment trial that Democrats have no chance to win, or does he travel around the country chasing the Democratic nomination for an election he has no chance to win? 

How will our socialist hero get out of this one? Check out today’s edition of the Chicks on the Right to find out.