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Prince Harry and Meghan Markle might be willing to live part-time in Los Angeles, but they have some conditions:

  1. President Trump must no longer be in office.
  2. Meghan demands a deal with a major brand for her clothing line.
  3. Harry requests that no one mention the premature hair loss thing. 

Yes, the Daily Mail and multiple other tabloid publications are reporting Monday that Megs and her main squeeze plan on moving to Canada and eventually purchasing a modest and quaint multi-million dollar mansion in Los Angeles. Nothing too extravagant, of course; we’re talking 25,000-30,000 square feet of living space maximum.

Of course, they’re also going to need a guest house for when William and Katie visit. And then there are the servants’ quarters, a separate estate for Megs’ shoes, and Harry’s always wanted his own “Willy Wonka” style candy room with a giant chocolate river.

Point to Ponder: Can you still buy Oompa Loompas or are they extinct now? It’s so sad, but you know, it’s not easy to find a mate when you’re three feet tall with orange skin and green eyebrows. And then there was all that in-breeding that took place in the mid-80s, which didn’t end well at all. We should call around to some roadside zoos and see if we can locate a couple of ’em.

Anyway, Harry and Meghan would like to split their time between Canada and Los Angeles, but Megs won’t return to her hometown of L.A. until AFTER Trump is no longer President. 

Editor’s Note: “Four More Years! Four More Years!”

Ahead of the 2016 election and before she married her honey, Harry, the former actress (stifles laughter) called Trump both ‘divisive’ and ‘misogynist’ on Comedy Central’s “The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore.”

She also said at the time that she was considering remaining in Toronto, where she was filming some show called “Suits” for the USA Network.

Editor’s Note: Ah, Toronto! That’s where Hollywood elites and limousine liberals flee to take advantage of enormous tax incentives provided by the Canadian government while production and below-the-line talent in Los Angeles struggle to pay their rent. How uniquely ‘liberal’ and ‘woke’ of them.

Of course, no one is going anywhere until Queen Elizabeth II manages to extricate her foot from Harry’s ass.

By the way, Harry and Megs said they like the lifestyle and PRIVACY that Los Angeles offers. Apparently Megs hasn’t heard of TMZ. 

If they want genuine privacy, they should move to the hills of West Virginia. If Paparazzi show up there, they’ll meet the business end of a toothless banjo player.

WIBC host Tony Katz offered his own scathing rebuke of the Sussexes Monday morning. Click below to check it out.