(Pascal Le Segretain / Staff / Getty Images)
Heads up, everyone! We’re all going to cook to death from global warming and the planet will cease to support life in roughly a decade. Talk to your kids about their impending doom so they have time to process.
By the way, the best time to have that talk is at bedtime, right after you kiss them goodnight. That way, the kids have enough time to think about it in the pitch dark before they sleep for eight hours. It will allow their little toddler brains enough time to reset and begin the next day with renewed hope and optimism for their future, which is now much less infinite than before. Bummer!
On the other hand, at least they don’t have to worry about choosing a career, saving for retirement, or any of that other crap!
How do I know we’re all dead? “Lane Meyer” told me!
Yes, multi-millionaire John Cusack generously took time out of his busy Hollywood schedule to pop by a rally in Exeter, New Hampshire for another multi-millionaire, Bernie Sanders, and deliver encouraging words about the end of the world and the evils of capitalism!
Editor’s Note: In case you glossed over the important parts of that last paragraph, here it is again!
Instant Replay:
Yes, multi-millionaire John Cusack generously took time out of his busy Hollywood schedule to pop by a rally in Exeter, New Hampshire for another multi-millionaire, Bernie Sanders, and deliver encouraging words about the end of the world and the evils of capitalism!
Point to Ponder: If “Lane Meyer” is a multi-millionaire these days then he can certainly give that poor paperboy his $2.00.
We continue this article after a brief word from our sponsor:
Welcome back to “Hollywood’s Biggest Political Nimrods” with the Chicks on the Right. I’m Brian Baker, honorary chick, but with all the male bits and pieces still attached.
When we last left off, 53-year-old millionaire “Lane Meyer” was letting supporters of multi-millionaire Bernie Sanders know that billionaires were “getting nervous” about the growing number of lemmings who are dumb enough to believe that implementing socialism in the United States will work out much better than the time Venezuela did it and people wound up eating their pets.
“Bernie respects us enough to tell the truth, the hard truth,” said Meyers. “We have a 10-to-12-year window to radically transform our energy systems, or climate change, predatory capitalism, and endless war economies will rob us of the right to any future at all.”
Lane continued: “We have never had a movement candidate this close to power with a revolutionary movement he’s led and built, ready-to-go, all the way to change the country and help heal the world.”
Solid stuff, Lane!
Hey, remember when Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez compared climate change to World War II and warned that the world would end in 12 years if it was not addressed?
Yeah, well that date “12 years” estimate has been moved forward… Or was it pushed back? AOC said we had 12 years, but that was over a year ago. So if Lane Meyer is right and the world is going to end in 10 years, then the date was bumped forward. But if we have a whole 12 years before humanity is slow-roasted into oblivion, then the date has been pushed BACK.
Hmm… You know what? All of a sudden I have an enormous headache throughout my entire body. Of course, that’s not uncommon for me when discussing liberals in Hollywood.
Let’s enjoy some quality commentary from the Chicks on the Right, yes?
