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The Setting: Disney’s Famed Magic Kingdom.

The Scene: Young, impressionable children enjoying the beloved sight of two families beating the snot out of each other.

The Inciting Incident: A woman was with her family at Mickey’s PhilharMagic Theater when she jumped out of line to get her phone, which she’d left on a wheelchair. When the woman attempted to get back in line with her family, another family blocked her from proceeding.

Fisticuffs Ensue: According to witnesses, about 20 people were involved in what turned into a massive fist fight.

Give Peace A Chance:

The Injury Report: A man was transported to a hospital with a large cut on his chin.

The Obligatory Quote From One Of The Participants: “We got banned from Disney forever unless we contact the head. 2 people from [sic] other party got arrested and the rest left, no one from our fam was arrested yet and they still have us here.”

The “I’m A Victim” Narrative, Featuring A General Dislike For Proper Grammar: “They r making us leave our resort which is riviera even though we are here for another 2 weeks. We have to leave Disney property including typhoon lagoon, and disney springs.”

The Inspiring Video:

Fun Fact: Incidents of mass violence have ticked up considerably since the COVID-19 pandemic. Walt Disney World has reported more than a half-dozen such incidents this year alone.