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A kindergarten student at Grand River Academy in Livonia, Michigan brought a refreshing and tasty beverage to school to share with her friends at snack time: tequila!

According to school administrators, the child reportedly brought a premixed bottle of Jose Cuervo to class and shared it with four classmates.

In assessing the situation, parent Alexis Smith, whose child was one of the four who consumed the tequila, offered the following statement of grand profundity to Local 4 News in Detroit: “My daughter takes medicine and first up, no kid should be drinking and you know – that, you know, just the shot itself, it burns.”

Another student who took several sips of the beverage and later felt “woozy” told her teacher what was in the cup. That brought the party to its inevitable conclusion.

From there, the great American standard crisis procedure was immediately put into action:

  1. The teacher alerted the school administrators.
  2. The school alerted the poison control center.
  3. The principal alerted the parents.
  4. The parents alerted the media.
  5. The lawyers alerted the parents that there might be some money in this for them.

If your five-year-old has a problem with alcohol, encourage them to seek help for their addiction. Call the National Drug and Alcohol Treatment Hotline at 800-662-HELP (4357).