For the power couple with a lust for gambling in an era of high risk and low reward, there’s nothing more exciting than bringing a child into this world in the Biden era.
You’ll need a new home with more space! Sure, you can afford it today, but prices could triple nine months from now and there’s no guarantee you won’t get outbid by an all-cash buyer.
Then there’s the car issue. No more sportscar for you, Mr. Young and Successful, you’ve got a child on the way. Time to trade that convertible in for something more practical – something you’ll pay $10K over the sticker price to acquire!
Then there’s the issue of gas: there might not be any! But if there is, you can’t afford, you just bought a new car and a house!
And now that you’ve settled on what house and minivan to buy, there’s another consideration: How will you keep up with the payments since you just lost your job due to the 2023 recession that will invariably hit approximately five minutes after you welcome your new little dumpling into this world. Five minutes after that, your cell phone will ring: “Hi Bob! Congrats on the new baby! And good news, you’ll have plenty of extra time to bond with him because we’re letting you go!”
Oh, and let’s hope your kid doesn’t need baby formula and comes potty trained right out of the box. The store shelves are empty, chief.
Don’t worry, your suffering will cease soon enough. Russia is sending a missile to your neck of the woods. Dress in something light and breathable because those nukes put out a lot of heat when they explode.
But seriously, have a kid. It’s a super enriching and magical experience. And if you do, spend your money wisely. Don’t waste it on crap like paying someone $1,500 to $10,000 to name your baby for you, which is the latest trend among new parents.
Hammer and Nigel have all the details in today’s edition of “Is This Anything?” Plus, a Wisconsin man lost his wedding ring at a park, but it was returned to him… By a dog.