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We should all set aside some time with our families tonight to pray for the health and welfare of Russian Oligarch Mikhail Fridman. He’s really facing some tough times in his life, poor fella, and we’re all just worried sick about him.

Fridman is a multi-billionaire. In fact, he’s got himself a total net worth of $10 billion.  Sure, that’s a lot of money, but it’s no $15 billion – especially in a time when inflation is skyrocketing. You have to make tough choices when you’re in such a challenging financial position:

  • Maybe you have to buy the pre-owned luxury yacht instead of going ‘new.’
  • Maybe you get yourself the trophy wife who is an 8 instead of a 10.
  • And 1,000 thread count Egyptian cotton? Not happening, Bub, you’re on a budget. You’re wiping with 800 thread count sateen from now on.

Yes, sacrifices must be made. But with love, a little encouragement, and a reminder that your net worth is still greater than the combined wealth of the average country, you’ll struggle through.

Ah, but what happens when the global community gets nasty over the ruthless leader of your country bombing maternity wards in Ukraine? What happens when they temporarily seize your assets for a month or so? How do you get by – especially without the benefit of stimulus checks and food stamps from your friends in government?

Hopelessness sets in… Despair is overwhelming… Is life still worth living?

Russian Oligarch Mikhail Fridman is asking that very question after being hit by U.S. sanctions, according to Bloomberg. This man in great suffering says he’s been forced to live on an allowance of $3,300 a month and needs the UK government’s permission to spend money.

A distraught Fridman told Bloomberg the sanctions against him are “groundless and unfair.”

“I don’t know how to live,” Fridman told Bloomberg. “I don’t know. I really don’t know.”

Yes, Mr. Fridman is going through a very dark season in life, but he’s not alone. A handful of other billionaires are facing similar seemingly insurmountable challenges.

That’s why, dear reader, we encourage you to sponsor a billionaire today through the Rob Kendall Kares Foundation. When you sponsor a billionaire in need for just a few thousand dollars per day, you’ll know you’re doing your part to make a better life for a struggling rich person you’ve never met. We’ll send you the name of the billionaire you’re sponsoring and a wallet-sized photo to carry with you at all times. Whip it out at parties to impress your friends! Show them the photo too!  (See what we did there?)

Want more details? Click below, you fine person of generosity and charitable spirit! God bless…

Actually, let’s skip the billionaire crap and just talk about the steps the Biden administration is taking to provide aid to Ukraine.