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Good people with wholesome values know there is nothing more deeply satisfying than seeing your political adversary in emotional distress.

Take Hillary Clinton, prolific assassin and internationally famed screecher, for example.

Hillary Clinton wanted nothing more in this world than to be the President of the United States. Oh sure, world peace, a cure for the horrific disease, cancer, or even something as simple as a solution to climate change would be nice. But ultimately, the majority of Hillary’s prayers throughout her political career went something like this:

“Dear God,

“Make me President of the United States or I’ll kill you. Amen.”

Hillary wanted to be the Democratic candidate for President in 2008, but it wasn’t her time.

She wanted to be the candidate in 2012 too, but Obama had REALLY good Secret Service agents around him at all times.

2016 was Hillary’s chance to shine. Sadly, she didn’t shine.

For those who were too young or too drunk to remember that happy day many years ago, this uplifting video will be most helpful and educational:

Good times… Good times…

Gladly, Hillary fell into a deep, dark depression following her humiliating loss.

She drank…

She gave up on her appearance and started wearing dresses that were cut like shower curtains – perfect for her figure!

And she wrote a book in which she blames about 100 different people and things for her loss, but a Hillary ain’t one!

But all of that is in the past now. Hillary is a new woman. Oh, she’s still a narcissistic sociopath, of course, but she’s learning to accept the fact that she will never be President of the United States no matter how many people she kills.

That photo must be Hillary getting the confirmation text Epstein.

Anyway, Hillary lost, but she still likes to indulge the petulant six-year-old child that’s within from time to time and play “make-believe.” Obviously, Hillary’s not the type to grab the shampoo bottle and pretend she won the Oscar. Instead, she pretends she won the election. Naturally, she forces her friends and family to watch her deliver an acceptance speech – complete with real tears!

Very touching. She almost seems human.

Hammer and Nigel decided to take a cue from Hillary. They invited some folks in the WIBC building to read acceptance speeches for stuff they never won too! Click below to listen.