As the producer of the Mock n’ Rob Show, young Jacob has five important responsibilities:
- Move the sliders on the audio board up and down.
- Make sure all the commercials air.
- Set the climate control in the studio to Mock’s preference: a comfortable 105 degrees Fahrenheit.
- Wash Rob’s laundry – not because Kendall makes him do it, but because the rest of us have to work in the building too.
- Subject himself to constant verbal abuse in public whenever it pleases us.
Number five on the list is undoubtedly the most important.
Subjecting Jacob to abuse, while ultimately harmful for his general wellbeing, is an important service that Mock and Rob provide to the community. It’s our way of giving back. And at a time in America when charitable giving is more important than ever, we’re proud to be doing our part.
Oh sure, Jacob will end up in therapy one day. Either that, or he’ll wind up in a puddle of his own juices after leaping to his death. But if that occurs, he can go to a better place knowing he served humanity.
Psychologists say making fun of others allows us to feel better about our own pathetic lives. Simply minimize the feelings of others, crush their spirit, and in turn, that ensures they never rise to a level of personal greatness that exceeds your less-than-stellar achievements.
Of course, not everyone is cut out to destroy a harmless, innocent person for the amusement of others. Fortunately, Jason Hammer works in the building.
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