Carjackings have really fallen into a season of artistic mediocrity in America. In decades past, the professional carjacker studied his or her craft and developed a style unique to the individual.
No more.
Whether through laziness, a lack of imagination, or an absence of innovation in their vocation of choice, today’s carjackers have come to rely upon standard methods and tools that fail to capture and nourish the public’s passion for this exciting criminal artform as much as they once did.
But not all is lost, say experts.
In his Pulitzer-winning article, “The Joy of Carjacking,” Mercedes Von Edsel expressed optimism that renewed government fuel mandates in conjunction with the extended manufacturing shutdowns of the COVID pandemic would force a resurgence in the carjacking profession due to a lack of affordable midsize sedans in the global market.
Von Edsel further opined that the influence of the public education system on young people in developing a political aversion to firearms would prompt a renewed interest in the arguably antiquated, yet readily available weapons and tools there were utilized in the horse and buggy era.
Indeed, Von Edsel’s hopeful prophecies are beginning to play out exactly as he predicted.
A galant artist of the carjacking profession utilized a vintage bow and arrow in the forced acquisition of a stranger’s car in the quaint city of Atlanta, Georgia Tuesday.
Sadly, this ‘Cabianca of Carjackings’ will not be demonstrating his artistic skills in the future due to the unfortunate fact that a police officer employed the use of his firearm to place a gaping hole in the suspect.
As luck would have it, the hole aided the suspect in eliminating a massive amount of blood from his body. End of suspect.
Hammer and Nigel continue this beloved tale of a man who died for his artistry in the clip below.
