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The Coronavirus pandemic and the shuttering of the U.S. economy in 2020 resulted in a massive shortage of available automobiles, so it’s perfectly understandable why someone would steal a van from a mortuary.

Sure, you’d prefer ‘new car’ scent, but ‘faint hints of a fresh corpse’ scent will suffice until dealers get some inventory in stock.

That said, if you’re going to steal your next ride from Flanner Buchanan, be a lamb and remove any bodies from the vehicle before your departure. The family of the deceased would greatly appreciate it. More importantly, it will reduce the total weight of your cargo load, which will vastly improve the vehicle’s handling characteristics and your gas mileage during the inevitable high-speed police chase.

Kijon Griffin, honorable citizen of Georgia, can attest to the value of those claims. The 23-year-old is an alleged connoisseur of auto theft.

Police wanted to have a little chat with Griffin last week, but the fellow just wasn’t in a talkative mood. So he hopped in a mortuary van parked outside a nearby crematory and departed from the scene at a high rate of speed.

“Unfortunately there was a body on the gurney inside,” Conyers Police Capt. Kim Lucas told FOX 5 News,  “and when the suspect did take off the gurney rolled out of the van, it did end up in the parking lot.”

Thank goodness it didn’t wind up in the middle of the street. Traffic in the Atlanta area is bad enough as it is.

Hammer and Nigel have more in today’s edition of “Is This Anything?”