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It’s time for a vaccine orgy, America!

The fine and trustworthy persons of the FDA (preferred pronouns unknown) have officially approved the Pfizer Coronavirus Vaccine for human consumption!

Yes, it’s a tremendous day indeed. This approval means Americans from coast-to-coast can enjoy the smooth, refreshing flavor of Pfizer with the same confidence and peace of mind with much we once gobbled all sorts of tasty snacks:

So stop by your local pharmacy and pick up a 12-pack of “Comirnaty” today. Ask for it by name! And look for the Pfizer logo on the label.

It’s sure to be a hit at your next party!

And remember, friendly consumer: you can have confidence in the FDA  – even if nearly one-third of their approved drugs were later found to have problems, according to CNN. 

Hammer and Nigel have more details on the FDA’s approval of “Comirnaty Classic” in the clip below.