Based on the analysis of our in-house medical experts at the Hammer and Nigel Show, it is absolutely clear to us that President Joe Biden’s family should have taken his car keys away long ago.
Sadly, the Ford Motor Company didn’t agree with the results of our health assessment and allowed the Biden, our nation’s most prolific aggressive hair-sniffer and push-up champion, to take a new electric F-150 Lightning pickup for a test drive in Michigan.
Fortunately, it was a closed course and no injuries were reported as of our time of publication.
Speaking with horrified spectators who were present at the event Wednesday, we learned that Mr. Biden was fully awake for the duration of his test drive and more than willing to run an inquisitive journalist over with the all-new electric pickup if it should please His Majesty.
Responding to a reporter who asked about the conflict in Israel, Mr. Biden said he would be more than willing to answer her questions if she would allow him to crush her bones with the eco-friendly power of his F-150 Lightning.
Naturally, she declined.
Fun and Totally Unrelated Fact: “Dementia can’t be defined by one sign or symptom. The person with dementia may have trouble remembering, reasoning, and thinking. He or she may become more emotional than usual or display signs of aggression.”
Hammer and Nigel have more medical insight in today’s edition of “Is This Anything?”