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Is there anything more romantic than two lovers “making out” with their CDC-approved face-diapers still attached to their faces?

Yes, there most definitely is. Also, lovers, you look stupid.

It was a brisk, relaxing afternoon in the exclusive upscale city of Beech Grove, Indiana when one Jason Hammer and his beloved wife entered their neighborhood Walmart in hopes of getting good seats for the latest beat-down happening in the store’s shampoo aisle.

As the local American power couple walked through the doors of the white trash megastore, Mrs. Hammer spotted some hand-holding lovers with matching face-diapers gazing dreamily into each other’s eyes.

Suddenly, the presumably male half of the couple leaned in close to his presumably female lover’s cloth-covered visage and planted a kiss on the inside of his own mask.

Yessir! How fabulously sexy.

Is this really what it’s come to, America? We have to wear a facemask AND a condom now?

Update: The Hammer and Nigel Show later discovered that the male involved in the Walmart makeout was none other than WIBC’s Rob Kendall.

Kendall confirmed he has taken to covering his face and telling babes he’s a “local celebrity” after failing to generate interest with his standard pick-up line: “I was a tax-cutting machine on the Brownsburg town council.”

Hammer and Nigel discuss the relative sexiness of making out while wearing a mask in the clip below. Listen with joy and enthusiasm in your auditory heart by clicking the link below at once!