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Christmas is but a few days away, friends! What a joyous and festive season to honor the birth of our Savior in conjunction with the death of American liberty and your Constitutional rights.

How will you celebrate, fellow slave of an increasingly oppressive government?

There are so very many options that allow you to have “fun” while remaining “COVID Compliant,” according to the CDC:

  • Stay at home by yourself.
  • Stay at home with your family.
  • Stay at home with your family while complaining on Twitter about staying at home family.
  • Stay at home and Facetime your loved one who is dying of bone cancer, but who you are forbidden to see until after the pandemic.
  • Stay at home and develop an eating disorder.
  • Stay at home and develop a substance abuse problem.
  • Stay at home and place your head in the oven.
  • Stay at home and cast a few more ballots for Joe Biden (It’s only December 21st; you still have time!).
  • Stay at home with the family, get out the blindfolds, and play a few rounds of “Guess That Smell.”
  • Stay at home and listen to the hypocrisy of government officials telling you to stay at home while they jet-set across the country in pig crap luxury to one of their many vacation homes.

Yes, there have been oodles and oodles of government hypocrites lately telling Americans to abide by CDC regulations while simultaneously violating those same recommendations themselves. Dr. Deborah Birx is one such government overlord.

COVID 19 Task Force Response Coordinator Dr. Deborah Birx:

Dr. Birx traveled to her vacation home during the Thanksgiving weekend despite telling people to stay home.

“Debs” also advised people to only spend time with those in their immediate household; however, she later confirmed that she traveled with family members from two other households and spent the holiday in Delaware.

Dr. Deborah Birx’s Excuse: She traveled out of necessity because the families needed to winterize her vacation property.

We at the Hammer and Nigel Show rate Dr. Birx’s excuse as “Egregiously Arrogant and Narcissistic Bull Crap with Added Elitism.”

On the positive side, at least she’s a real doctor! Are you reading this, Dr. Jill Biden?

Hey, they’re important government officials. Just who in the heck do you think YOU are, American peasant? Mind your manners and obey their orders if you know what’s good for you!

And while you’re at it, enjoy this latest hit from Hammer and Nigel Records: “CDC is Coming to Town.”